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I’m sure you must’ve come across all the embarrassing hullabaloo over pre-marital sex, virginity, and six-inch skirts going around in our Press lately. Embarrassing not because of the topic, but the nature of its discussion.
It all started when Khushboo said something like there’s nothing wrong in girls having pre-marital sex if it was safe. That is a perfectly candid statement, and if according to some people it did not reflect India’s conservative notions, it was only a personal opinion, not a commandment!
Enough has been said about this in the blogosphere, so I shall not comment on it except to disagree with the later part of Kushboo’s statement where she said that no intelligent Indian man could expect his wife to be a virgin. I’ll leave it at that, but if you want to rant, feel free to do so below.
But now Suhasini, the only daring Tamil lady that voiced her support to Khushboo, has been served with three court notices just for that! Seems like India is not a free country!?
Then it was Sania Mirza’s six-inch skirt. If certain mullahs were to be pacified, she should play tennis in the burqa. Sania Mirza has dealt with the situation better than is expected of a 19-year-old – she stated that it is nobody’s business whether she wears a six-inch or six-foot dress. She retracted the statement later and prided herself in being a good Muslim.
Both these stands have not gone down well with certain organizations in India – this only indicates that these organizations, some Hindu and some Islamic, are against giving women more liberty.
But the point of this post is this, that where is virginity in India when it is the country with the second largest population of people infected with HIV? Where is the virginity that these Tamil parties claim to be a part of their culture?
India has about 5.1 million people infected with HIV and/or suffering from AIDS; 520,000 people were infected in the year 2003.
Our Govt. says that this figure has fallen to just 28000 new infections in 2004, an incredible 400% decrease. While nobody believes this statistic, many think it could be a Govt. conspiracy to hide the truth.
But, while UNAIDS (a UN organization) also disbelieves this new low number, they don’t think it is a conspiracy but believe it could just be due to poor surveillance. I don’t know if they are scared to come out, as they need the Govt’s help for their work.
Anyway, the issue is we have millions of HIV infected people on the one hand, and organizations gloating about women’s virginity and muffling supporters of safe sex on the other.
It would do a lot more good for Indian society if VHP, Islamic mullahs, Tamil political parties etc. all joined hands in advocating safe sex for those who have sex.
The Govt. has been doing this in brave new unorthodox methods:
In July, the National AIDS Control Organisation (NACO) in a bold pilot campaign asked newspaper readers across the cricket-mad nation to save their “wickets” and not lose their “stumps” to AIDS.
To drive home the point, the advertisement showed three cricket wickets covered by condoms, a bold departure from more conservative TV ads with cricketers like Indian captain Rahul Dravid wearing a helmet and asking people to protect themselves.
This was followed by another newspaper advertisement warning readers in a country where most people do not discuss sex openly to remain “Not out!” to AIDS by praticising safe sex.
[NACO] is helping staid state broadcaster Doordarshan, which reaches about 400 million viewers, to develop a TV serial featuring an HIV-infected character, a first for Indian TV.
The “Red Ribbon Express” will carry actors who will perform AIDS awareness plays; doctors to carry out HIV tests; and volunteers who will cycle to villages every time the train stops.
Of course India is a country of paradoxes, but if we deny reality and are still stuck in some “virgin imagination”, then we are the losers.
So when you have sex, please have SAFE SEX, and spread the message!
hi Jagan – welcome back! and thanks for all that information, some of which I didn’t know before. The political formulae were unknown to me, and your explanation does make a lot of sense!
The problem may be with the Press as you say – they do come out with far too many malreporting and misinterpretations.
Kushboo and being reprimanded for reaons highlighted by jagan are unfair , unreasonable. They are far too many of us who know that and most of us are women here. Infact we are more than glad thoere are atleast a few people out there being able to vhoice out – which really matters and help women be able to stand up for what they are not meekly live on for the rest of their lives accepting fate -most “metro”sexual men as they are termed have total dual personalities – its a total different deal when it comes to dating/living in versus being married.
Though its gets buried, fact remains that there is a great deal of exploitation happenning in all possible grounds in marriages/work place – u name it and women get exploited there.
If Kushboo is leveraging on what she is today , is politically inclined , but still contributes to the society who on earth are we – who meekly only observe ,to comment and justify what is happenning?
We need more women like Sania,Kushboo mainstage.
We need them addressing all sects of the society.
Most Junior school children know about this issues, this is the right time to drive home a few things into their heads – cause that is what counts and will make our country go a long way.
The only people who can contribte and change the way our society works are the ones who are already popular and have imprinted their images in the minds of the common masses
We care two hoots to the politicians who only yap – do not contribute an iota to the common man. Lets not come up with reasons to justify why Kushboo did what she did and why she landed herself into where she is today.
Lets back her for what she said and be sure we spread the word of good work so more people are proud about accepting and talking openly about what they believe in and make a chnage to the (South) India that is today.
Hi Bachforgood – Jagan and I infact support Khushboo’s brave statement and agree with you that more needs to be done today in this direction.
But it has to be mentioned that women are accorded a great deal of respect in our culture in many, many spheres – though today, when we are all viewing our own society with Western-tinted glasses this does not seem too apparent. For eg:, in corporate jobs in urban India there is no discrimination in pay based on gender, whereas this is a rampant problem in UK, USA etc.
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I was thinking of wrtiting about the Kushboo affair, but theres more than what meets the eye..
Firstly, its not about the ‘Safer sex’ or ‘premarital sex’ thing that got the protestors’ goat.
It was this comment of Kushboo that ‘No educated person should expect his bride to be a virgin’ that did her in.
The press gave the logical spin that no Tamil womam is a virgin on her marriage day, says Kushboo.. Again, one more daily went on to say, ‘Kushboo declares that all Tamil women are immoral’.
Now imagine what the public will do? I say that the onus of responsibility was upon the Press wo sensationalised the whole issue.
Secondly, the biggest factor in the whole affair is political.
Kushboo has been enjoying a fairly wide success with her anchorage of popular talk shows on JAYA TV, run by Jayalalithaa aka Amma of AIADMK, the sworn opponents of the DMK and PMK and an assortment of other Dravida Parties along with the Muslim League and the Commies.
Kushboo’s popularity is with the women of Tamil Nadu who seemed to adore her. She dresses in fine Kanchivarams, sensible and stylish jewelery and the women go nuts over her styles in her shows..
This popularity of Kushboo who is very close to Jayalalithaa can go a long way in attracting the votes of the fairer sex in Tamil Nadu where traditionally, Film Stars romp in the votes.
PMK has been trying to sabotage this single weapon in Jayalalithaa’s arsenal for a long time.
When Kushboo opened her dumb mouth and went on beyond advocating safe sex to free sex, PMK pounced on her armed with the material the media willingly has obliged them with.
Thus started the ugly smear campaign and the whole issue ball rolled in a controversy.
Recently the High Court has reprimanded a lower court for issuing bails just because a ‘woman has given her opinion’.
So, the point I am adding is that this issue is not just a case of free speech or safe sex or Indian Victorianism, but one of pure Politics.